So now that I’m finished with the endless baby gifts, I’m back to knitting for myself. I’m currently working away on Springtime Bandit, a really nice triangular scarf pattern. (Incidentally, I’m also doing it in a thinner yarn than the pattern calls for.) I really like triangular scarves—the construction seems to lend itself to more interesting patternwork than a regular rectangular scarf, and I like the way they look on much more. The construction, however, is a double-edged sword, because while it lets you do really cool stuff, it also makes the scarf a bigger and bigger (no pun intended) pain in the ass as you work on it.
Most triangular scarf patterns (and shawl patterns, and presumably triangular tea cozies if you cared to make them, but you know what I mean) start at the centre of the top, and you work back and forth while increasing, so you’re essentially knitting the edges out as you go. Here’s a sophisticated MS Paint rendering of what I mean:
Clearly I’ve wasted my life by not attending art school.
When you start, a row will have, like, six stitches in it. You whip through pattern repeats in about the time it takes to play a Britney Spears video. Halfway through, though, even a row of plain purling takes the entirety of Lady Gaga’s new twenty-minute opus, and you still have about two-thirds of the fucking thing to go.
At the moment, I am on pattern repeat five (out of eight) and feel like gremlins are unravelling my knitting every time I turn around, because this thing is never any closer to getting finished. (Clearly Odysseus doesn’t want me marrying Luke. O-ho-ho-ho, classical references!) And even once I get through the patterns, there’s still the (lovely, gorgeous, completely worth it) edging to get through! And then! THEN I HAVE TO BLOCK THE GODDAMN THING!
(Which reminds me, perfectionist knitters, please stop grinding your teeth—that photo above was taken midway through the blocking process, as in, it totally got straightened out and symmetrical-ised.)
Everyone says there are product knitters and process knitters, but that is a blatant lie. There are knitters who successfully conceal their impatience to be finished with a project that begins approximately two hours after starting it, and there are those knitters who begin screaming and insisting this sweater is totally the right length and they’ll just start the armhole shaping now before they’re even done with the gauge swatch. No credit for guessing which side I’m flying my particular standard on.