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It’s done! And photographed in the classiest way possible. Yes, that is an economy-sized tub of rice holding one corner in place. The kitchen gets the best light. Don’t you judge.

Looking at the photo has reminded me that the points could be blocked out to be pointier, but other than that, I’m very happy with it. The pattern was interesting enough to keep me engaged through nine pattern repeats, and considering the pattern as written only called for four, I’m giving extra points. The 34-row edging pattern was incredibly irritating when I was fresh off the high of finishing the body of the shawl, only to realise I had to knit the equivalent of three more pattern repeats before I was done, but I think it was a lovely finish to the pattern.

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See? Good stuff. And the most satisfying part of it—at least in hindsight, once I know it all ended well, was the amount of yarn I had leftover at the end:

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Waste not, want not! Well done, Bandit.

I need a photo of myself. Not just any photo, though: an AUTHOR PHOTO. As in, a photo of myself that will accompany some writing (I’m being deliberately vague here, but all will become clear at a future date), and thus needs to hit that perfect blend of arty and intellectual and ironic.

There are a few rough schools of authorship that most of these photos fall into. There’s the “mildly hip without trying too hard or anything” photo, where the writer is in black and looking classic but ever-so-slightly edgy. Leaning on something appears to be a popular option. Then there’s the timeless “intellectual, because I’m a writer, you know,” where they’re posed in front of a desk and/or bookshelf, head almost inevitably in hand. I sound like I’m being cutting here, but I’m really not—I can only imagine how excruciating it must be to have your photo taken for something like this, trying to look normal and unegotistical while simultaneously having to be really intensely egotistical because this version of yourself will be the one most readers will associate with you FOREVER. So I’m trying to avoid it by finding an old photo. The only problem? All my photos of myself seem to look like this:

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Oh, you doubt me? YOU FOOL.

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The best part of this one is those aren’t even the same dog.

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THESE ARE NOT A DELIBERATE THEME. THESE ARE TAKEN YEARS APART.

I mean, I suppose if you’ve read my blog for any length of time, you know I’m an animal lover. I’m well aware I’m a dog person. What I wasn’t aware of, until having to look through the photographic documentation of my life, is that apparently unless I can put a dog in front of my face while doing it, it’s not actually happening.

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God help me.

I always hesitate before posting anything super serious on this blog—if you came for the book reviews or the cursing, you’re not always in the mood for heavy stuff, and switching between “HA HA JOKES ABOUT WINE” and political ranting is a quick path to total cognitive dissonance. But I suppose I’m more interested in writing about what’s important to me, and I’m hopeful that the fact that this blog is a collection of anecdotes from my life means you’re okay with the occasional (regular?) movement between highs and lows. And besides, I would rather you think I’m a little emotionally uneven than I’m the type of person who doesn’t care about politics. (Because if you know me in real life, and perhaps have had to shush me or catch your overturning pint glass as I rant about health care or the primaries or feminism, then you’ll know that’s definitely not the case.)

At any rate, today I don’t have much to say that doesn’t revolve around Troy Davis. I’ll be upfront: I oppose the death penalty. I think a judicial system that says our government will potentially kill you sets up a relationship between citizens and their government, and a moral system, that is wrong.

But even if you do support capital punishment, I honestly cannot see how you could support it in this instance. The fact that Davis was convicted purely on eyewitness testimony is, given what we now know about the reliability (or lack thereof) of eyewitnesses, horrifying in and of itself; but once you factor in the myriad ways in which the overt facts around that testimony have been called into question—the fact that 7 out of 9 witnesses have since recanted, the fact that the police brought the witnesses together to reenact the crime and come to a consensus decision about what happened, the fact that several witnesses now believe a fellow witness was actually the murderer—it becomes a case that makes you question how we can allow the verdict to stand and remain proud of our country.

Bombastic? Probably. But hey, bombastic is what I do. I am proud to be an American, even though I recognise that’s more down to luck than anything else. I consider myself a patriot. I think the Constitution is one of the most important and one of the most right documents out there. And while I can also recognise that America is far from perfect, to see something like this happening—where someone can say “he has had ample time to prove his innocence” and we don’t all stand up like our hair’s on fire saying What godforsaken country are you from that you think that’s how justice works??!!—it makes me incredibly sad. It makes me despair.

That is not America. That is not what Americans do.

It’s really starting to feel like autumn. The air is getting cool and crisp. It’s taking longer and longer for the sun to come up in the morning. And like clockwork, I begin cursing myself for living in England and not being able to get my grubby paws on PUMPKIN BEER.

I guess it’s an American thing, as most pumpkin flavours seem to be. But god, I miss it. Last year Bacchanalia had a limited supply of Southern Tier’s Pumking that was, after import duties, a jaw-dropping eleven pounds a bottle. I bought four. This year it doesn’t look like they’ll have any, and as far as I know there isn’t anyplace in the UK that sells pumpkin ale. Meanwhile, my sister just emailed me a photo of her latest alcohol purchase: an entire case of Pumking and another eight varieties of pumpkin beer. You know…as a sampler.

I know, I know, I’m living in beer heaven. And it’s true!—most of the year I’m completely spoiled for choice, and spend my spare time snickering at friends trapped in bars populated exclusively by beer of the Budweiser and Coors varieties. But this one time of year, I have to admit, America has the edge…and the pumpkin. Damn them all.

As I write this, it is 2:19pm. I’ve been at work for several hours. And I have only…just…noticed…that my shirt is buttoned on the wrong buttons.

I mean, in the grand scheme of humiliation, this is pretty low. I don’t have anything in my teeth, my skirt isn’t tucked into my tights, and nothing more suited for Cinemax has fallen out of my shirt (okay, maybe that last one’s only a risk if you’re Tara Reid). But if I hadn’t just aimed a more-than-cursory glance at myself in the bathroom mirror, I still would have no idea that the right front of my shirt was hanging a solid three or four inches lower than the left front.

Questions have ensued. Did anyone else notice? Did anyone notice and not tell me? Or worst of all–did anyone notice and say "Wow, Meghan’s looking super disorganized and like she got dressed in the dark…SO BUSINESS AS USUAL THEN"??!?!!

Some days dark tremors sweep across our lives.

Some days dark tremors sweep across our lives. Troubling events accost us. We have grown accustomed to such things, and often we have fenced off our natural sympathies with the thought: this belongs to somebody else.

But now a crisis of life brushes close to us, touches us, befalls us and those we love. We want, now, to know: how, and what, and why? We want an explanation, though we know that all our explanations put together do not finally explain. They but fend off worry, anger, and grief. The mysteries of evil and innocence remain. The darkness of being at a loss remains, and in this abyss of the heart we can but pray for light.

This is when I pray, and this is my prayer.

Let me be patient of all these feelings that drive me hither and yon. May I be at peace, more patient with myself. Let me live within the questions that promise no answers but only signal the mystery that gave them birth. Let me turn from every pettiness of the heart, willing to see and accept that the world does not revolve around me. Let the grief, the pain, and the nameless trouble that overcomes me also open me to feel what others have felt.

Giver of being and freedom, unbind my compassion for all beings about me, and again set free the child of grace within me. Amen.

(by George Kimmich Beach, source.)

Tumblr is a gold mine of one-trick-pony photoblogs. That sounds like faint praise, but I actually adore blogs dedicated to ridiculously niche-y collections of photos. There are about a million variations within the fuckyeah genre (FY Marilyn, FY James Dean, FY Ava Gardner, and on, and on…), but one of my newest favourites is simultaneously wider-reaching and more specific: Giant Pants of the 30s.

If you too get a gleeful kick out of ludicrously wide-legged trouser styles, this is the Tumblr for you. Celebrities, civilians, men, women, and even the odd fashion illustration—there’s an enormous range of models, but what they all have in common is a silhouette that might be smuggling small dogs, for all we’d know. It’s a love poem to a very particular look, and the title makes me laugh every time it pops up in my blogroll. Giant pants: fuck yeah.

Gene-KellyLife isn’t fair. If the world were fair, I would have been born independently wealthy. I would have a dog who doesn’t do things like throw up through the banisters of the landing and onto the stairs, banister, and wall beneath him. I would own a red lipstick that never, ever needs touching up. And I definitely wouldn’t have been born with a deep love for movie musicals and above-average tap-dancing skills, several decades too late for my soulmate. Oh, Gene Kelly. You should be mine.

You can imagine my glee (or rampant jealousy?) when I stumbled upon CraftyPod’s Gene Kelly Craft-a-Long. Other people expressing their love of Gene Kelly through craft? I am so in!!

An initial perusal of the Flickr group for the craft-a-long shows that most people are producing crafts featuring Gene Kelly. Alas, if you have ever seen my drawing skills, you would already know this approach is not for me. No, I’ve decided to add an item to my wardrobe that makes it more Mr. Kelly-suitable. I’m going to knit the Tout beret from Quince & Co., which I’ve decided is an accessory staple for being Gene Kelly’s leading lady. It’s retro! It frames the face beautifully! It has ribbing to help keep it on when we’re doing our big number!

Stay posted for my FO, hopefully in a week or two. And then stay tuned for my ongoing project to remake my boyfriend into a Gene-Kelly-alike. I can try to teach him to tap dance, but I’m not sure a ginger Gene Kelly is really doable. Hmm, maybe I should have been going for Donald O’Connor all along.

I’m on a bit of a Poirot kick at the moment. I’m an Agatha Christie fan anytime, but I’ve been powering through my scarf, and extended knitting stretches call for longer-form television watching, ideally with a large amount of dialogue. While Poirot means I’m continually distracted by the costumes and set dressing, it does otherwise fit the bill, so I’ve been watching episodes like they’re going out of style. But don’t worry, this isn’t a television review—I also just finished reading Dumb Witness, a mystery set up in classic Christie fashion. An elderly woman with a collection of nearly-equally sketchy relations has a suspicious accident, followed closely by an unsuspicious death…or is it?

There was a lot about this book I enjoyed. A niece and nephew are hilariously louche suspects, and Poirot’s blatant lying as he begins to question the neighbours is really amusing. There were also a few plot points that resonated particularly with me—there are some spinster occultists who offer Poirot and Hastings a delicious vegetarian repast (Christie’s revulsion is palpable), and the lawyer executing the all-important will is none other than William Purvis. (Heeeey!) And, as the title indicates, a dog plays a central role in the mystery. Christie gives the terrier a bit of a voice by describing what he would be saying if he were capable of speech, which I think any dog owner immediately recognises as a tic we all do ourselves, and which everyone else in the world finds irritating and possibly mental. I routinely speak for Remy, so I of course found it hilarious.

There were two things, though, that spoiled the book a little for me. The first was turning the (electronic) page and being confronted with the title of Chapter 18, “A Nigger in the Woodpile.” ……Oh. Well then. Yes, it was a figure of speech at the time. Yes, it would be ridiculous to censor the book. But it’s very, very hard to remain enjoying a book when you’re being rather forcibly reminded that it’s the product of a time and culture that thought using black people as a metaphor for evil was totally ducky!

The second point is a massive spoiler, so I’m going to use a safety paragraph break. If you don’t want to know the ending, stop reading now!

So two sub-points: firstly, the identity of the killer is flagged up MASSIVELY due to a plot point involving suspects with reversed initials and an initialled brooch being seen through a mirror. But secondly…so Poirot tells the murderess, via a letter, that he knows she’s the killer. She then kills herself. Poirot reasons that this was the best solution because it stopped her killing anyone else, and presumably saved her family the scandal of a trial. Uh…huh? Poirot isn’t particularly characterised as a bend-the-rules, wrong-side-of-the-law detective, so for him to suddenly toss the idea of proper justice out the window was bizarre. And his justification doesn’t actually centre around saving her family scandal; it’s MUCH more that she would have tried to kill her husband and this way she’s been stopped. Meanwhile, he told her in a letter while she still had her children with her, and then gave her a full night and morning to think about what she was going to do! It seems like Christie just orchestrated events for the gotcha! moment where Hastings thinks the woman’s been murdered, and then Poirot announces with a flourish that no, SHE WAS THE MURDERER.

It was an amusing enough read, but I think the ending really let the book down. (Well, that and the uncomfortable reminder of that whole “socially acceptable racism” thing.) Sorry, Bob the terrier, but even your barking speeches couldn’t save it for me.

Sometimes I like to imagine what readers must be thinking as they come to my blog. “Hm,” I imagine you musing as you click. “How incredibly witty this Meghan chick must be. And I don’t know why, but I just know in my heart her hair is really shiny!”

Okay, maybe not that. (I’m sure you’re saving your comments about my manicured appearance for the inevitable bouquets. It’s cool.) Maybe a more plausible thought is “Hey, didn’t this bitch used to write reviews of old radio shows? What the hell happened to that?”

Nothing happened, you split-ended assholes. I’m still listening, and I’m still planning on writing reviews of shows as I finish them. The problem is, the latest show I’ve been listening to is Dragnet. Yes, Dragnet, the “just the facts ma’am” show starring Jack Webb. (Although as a side note, did you know he never actually said that phrase? Just like how James Cagney never actually called anyone a dirty rat.) The television show ran for eight years, from 1951 to 1959 (of the reboot in the sixties, where Joe Friday tackles issues like hippies, we shall not speak), and the radio show? The radio show aired from 1949 until 1957, and even factoring in the fact that the last two seasons were repeats, that’s still six full years of radio shows to get through. According to the listing on Old Time Radio, where I downloaded my mp3s, there are 298 episodes available for listening. And I downloaded all of them.

I mean, it’ll be worth the wait. The show is rightfully famous for its attention to detail, and the sound effects are amazing. (That sounds like small praise until you remember that a radio show recorded in a studio, so to produce layers of background noise, as Dragnet did consistently, took quite a considerable amount of work.) I’m enjoying it a lot. But I’m afraid the review for it might not be out until 2012…

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