Living abroad has done a lot of great things for me. It’s widened my cultural horizons, introduced me to lifelong friends (and, y’know, my boyfriend *cheeseball*), upped my alcohol tolerance considerably…however, it’s not all great. Living in England has destroyed my spelling.

I swear to you, seven years ago I was an awesome speller. I don’t confuse their with they’re (or there). I understand the difference between its and it’s. I even consistently get words like “restaurant” and “embarrassing” right. But then I moved to England, and in an effort to stop my tutors from circling random bits on all my essays, I started writing licence for license, colour for color…I haven’t gone as far as kerb for curb, but when it comes to common words, I’ve tried my best to assimilate.

The problem is, after six years of trying to write like the natives, I can’t remember which is which anymore. Worse, I don’t have a consistent style myself anymore—sometimes I write with American spelling, sometimes with British. (In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve flipped back and forth on this blog.) And far too late, I’ve discovered that because my word-processing programs are American, even if I set the spellchecker to British, they still seem to okay American spellings. So my thesis—the culmination of years of work that I’m going to be grilled on in three weeks time (AFEART! AFEART!!)—has more misspellings than a first-year’s inaugural essay. And I am screwed. Because while I could try an airy “oh, so sorry about the inconsistent spelling, don’t you find expatriatism terribly taxing?”, I have a feeling my examiners aren’t going to buy it. (And no, nor should they.) So in the meantime, I’ve been reduced to writing “AUGH” in the margin every time I discover yet another transatlantic spelling trip. At least that one’s spelled consistently…